It's Christmas Eve and I've only wrapped two fuckin' presents 
Christmas Eve and I've only wrapped two fuckin' presents 

And I hate, hate, hate your guts 
I hate, hate, hate your guts 
And I'll never talk to you again 
Unless your dad will suck me off 
I'll never talk to you again 
Unless your mom will touch my cock 
I'll never talk to you again 
Ejaculate into a sock 
I'll never talk to you again 
I'll never talk to you again 

It's Labor day and my Grandpa just ate seven fuckin' hotdogs 
Labor day and my grandpa just ate seven fuckin' hotdogs 
And he shit shit shits his pants 
He's always fuckin' shittin' his pants 

And I'll never talk to you again 
Unless your dad will suck me off 
I'll never talk to you again 
Unless your mom will touch my cock 
I'll never talk to you again 
Ejaculate into a sock 
I'll never talk to you again 
I'll never talk to you again